A new free website teaches young people what to say and do when a friend is struggling, and when to bring in professional help.
Young people are often the first people their friends turn to when they’re struggling with their mental health. Few have been taught what to say or do next.
Big Chats is a new free website that aims to change that. Launched in time for Mental Health Awareness Week, it gives practical, evidence-based guidance young people can use in all kinds of conversations, from everyday struggles through to suicidal distress and mental health crises.
“No one should have to go through tough times alone,” founder Elle Cradwick says. “And it can be really hard to know what to do or what to say when someone you care about is struggling.”
“We want young people to feel confident to reach out and be there for the people they care about, while knowing they don’t have to fix everything themselves.”
Built for friends, not just people in crisis
Mental health professionals created Big Chats after seeing a gap in resources for young adults who want to help their friends, and are already trying to, but were never shown how.
Big Chats says the Government has identified safe community conversations about suicide as a national priority. It describes itself as the first platform in Aotearoa designed specifically to help 18 to 30-year-olds have those conversations.
Many campaigns encourage young people to seek help when they’re struggling themselves. There’s far less guidance for friends who notice something is wrong or find themselves supporting someone through a tough time.
“Friends and whānau can end up on the frontline when someone they care about is struggling. While they’re not a replacement for professional help, it’s an important role, and it can be full on,” Elle says.
“Young people need practical skills to know how to show up for each other, while knowing when and how to link them up with professionals.”
The Big Chats Burger
At the heart of the site is the Big Chats Burger, a six-step framework. It guides people through recognising when someone may be struggling, starting a chat, listening and responding safely, and considering next steps, all while looking after their own wellbeing as a supporter.
Each layer is a step. The top bun is “Begin with you”, followed by “Open the chat”, “Hold Space”, “Listen” and “Create a plan”. The bottom bun, “Back to you”, brings the helper back to their own wellbeing.
During development, the team kept hearing from young people who had wanted to help a friend but felt out of their depth.
“When we showed testers the site, many told us they wished they’d had something like this when they were supporting someone or struggling themselves,” Elle says.
“Every single person could think of a time when someone had opened up to them about their mental health and they’d wondered whether they were saying or doing the right thing. Big Chats is about building that bridge, helping people feel more confident to be there for each other.”
Who’s behind it
Elle has a master’s degree in psychology and a background in youth mental health. She has worked as Helpline Manager at Youthline, as Suicide Prevention and Postvention Co-ordinator for Canterbury, and as Portfolio Co-ordinator at Aoake te Rā, a service for people bereaved by suicide.
She now chairs the Canterbury Suicide Postvention Working Group and runs Big Chats Limited, which offers workshops for people who care for others in the community.
Big Chats has been funded by the Rātā Foundation, the Wayne Francis Charitable Trust, the Steadfast Foundation, Foundation North and private donors.
It’s free, online and available at bigchats.org.nz. Big Chats isn’t a crisis service, and its crisis page points people to 111, 1737 and Healthline.
If you or someone you know needs support, call or text 1737 any time to talk with a trained counsellor. Lifeline is on 0800 543 354 or free text 4357, and the Suicide Crisis Helpline is on 0508 828 865. In an emergency, call 111.
